Fireworks and fearfully made Me!

Hi there! It has been a crazy holiday for cat sitters. I hope you all had a really great 4th of July! I actually went to the fireworks at the beach here alone. I had a friend ask me what my plans for the holiday were and I told her I was working and then I would probably find some fireworks to go to. Except that I was pretty sure I was going to work and then watch fireworks on TV alone.

I got home from morning jobs and decided to clean the inside of my car. The more I cleaned, the more I cried. I cried because I kept thinking about the last two Fourth of July’s I had spent with Albert. We always went to a picnic at one of his friend’s houses and then we always watched the fireworks on TV because we were tired from the day’s adventures. Once he got sick we really stuck close to home but still managed to get a hot dog and hamburger at a picnic somewhere. No matter what, Albert always had someone that had invited him somewhere.

The thing is, I had turned down any invitations. I just had not been invited anywhere! As I cleaned my rugs in the car, God reminded me that I was in a new season of my life and that He had a plan. But His plan was not for me to sit at home and feel sorry for myself. His plan was for me to go out in the world as the confident and strong woman that Al’s illness had brought out of me. He nudged me again to remember all the qualities I had listed in my walk a little while ago and how knowing I am God’s masterpiece should make me want to show it to the world.

I decided right then and there that I was going to find a celebration and join it alone. I remembered that we could hear the fireworks from our house and see some colors because they set them off at the beach. Knowing that there is no parking at the beach after dusk, I parked about half a mile away on the street and walked. I wore Al’s Allman Brothers sweatshirt and an american flag bandanna around my neck as I found a spot in the sand that was not completely deserted but not in anyone’s space. I laid down in the sand to enjoy the display. It was so great!

Day 12’s homework was to write down everything I see and thank God for it. I would like to go back to the 4th and thank Him for the magnificent display that He pushed me to go to. I would like to thank Him for the legs that walked me to the spot on the beach, for the lungs and body as well. I would like to thank Him for the beach itself, without which I would not have seen the fireworks. I would like to thank Him for the car I used to drive to the celebration and the job that made the money I needed to put gas in my car (to drive me there as well). Finally, I want to thank Him for reminding me that I am wonderfully and fearfully made; which gave me the strength to go to the fireworks alone and not be anxious about it. This life God has given me is pretty amazing, I just have to stop trying to write my own parts in the story and realize that God’s parts are unbelievable and cannot be improved upon!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

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